Guaranteed Good Times

In Celebration of Dallyce Joy Gartner

2009-09-25T21:00:00.012-06:00

We have heard many comments about how wonderful the tribute to Dallyce was on Tuesday at her memorial service, and we echo that sentiment bigtime. A big thanks to Sarah Salewich & Jill Krikau for writing & reading it. I thought I'd share it here for those of you couldn't be there to hear it, and for those of you who were there, but wanted to read it again. It truly is a beautiful tribute to our beautiful little girl. We also want to send out a big thank you to everyone else who was involved on Mon & Tues and to everyone who was there to support us, and for all the cards and generous gifts we have been given. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.

We stand before you today to honour a precious, beautiful, and special little girl. Dallyce was a gift to this earth and each of you are gathered here today to celebrate, remember, and rejoice her impact on your life - as a cherished daughter, granddaughter, baby sister, niece, cousin, and friend.

As we are experiencing the transition to autumn we are reminded of the uniqueness and pure beauty of this particular season change. The changing colour of the leaves, the new- found cool breeze upon of our face, and the powerful autumn sunrises and sunsets across the Prairie horizon serve as a gentle reminder for each of us to remain in awe of God’s creation. We have learned through our lived experiences that these Fall changes occur quickly therefore we’ve grown to understand that in order to get the most out of this beautiful season we must cherish the immediacy of what is in front of us here and now. And so it is with all of nature’s journeys – the almost rhythmic unfolding of blooming, and coming to be of God’s creations leads into this gorgeous moment that naturally emerges with the season change. Dallyce’s beautiful life captured a piece of that journey and left an imprint so powerful that we cannot deny God’s work in her, through her, and now, as Stephanie, Clayton and Caleb would pray - through each of us. Just like those autumn moments that we’ve learned to cherish and saviour, we celebrate Dallyce’s life knowing full well that God has granted her peace. We pray now for our own peace as we put words to the memories of such a sweet, sweet angel.

Dallyce was born perfect and beautiful, loved and nurtured by the most amazing, strong family God could have ever picked – she was given the brightest of suns, protected by the safest of arms, and cared for with utmost tenderness and as hard, and sorrowful as it is she somehow knew she needed to take the same path as the ever-changing season, and was lovingly gathered back up to be an angel in God’s heavenly garden.

Maybe some of you were privileged to hear Caleb’s introduction of his new little sister….and so we begin Dallyce’s story by quoting her proud big brother, Caleb. “Caleb, who’s this?"

“This is my baby sister - Dallyce Joy Gartner”.

Dallyce was born on March 25^th of this year, a quick and intense few hours at the Royal University Hospital in Saskatoon and the whole family was ready to go home to Martensville. We have all been amazed at the Gartner Family strength of character, and perseverance through all they have had to face over the last few months. But reflecting on some of Clayton and Stephanie’s stories, we have a sneaking suspicion their little girl knew more about what her family needed long before she was even born! – Let us start with Dallyce’s GRAND entrance into this earthly world – because it’s sure not hard to find hints of this family’s gift of faith, hope, strength, perseverance, and love…and just a little bit of craziness!

8:15pm Enter hospital

9:05pm Give birth, fall in love.

1200 am Get discharged.

McDonald’s drive through to follow.

Homeward bound to Martensville to cuddle in mommy and daddy’s big bed with them.

In a few short hours she was home safe in the arms of her family, getting right into the groove of Gartner life. What an entrance! Grandma Nesdoly told us that she believes that Dallyce somehow knew her parents had limited special time with her and therefore getting home couldn’t come fast enough. What a smart cookie!

Upon her arrival, she was as sweet and content as they come. Mommy would always tell her what a great baby she was. She was joyfully easy – breastfed well, went to sleep easily with a gentle stroke upon her face, loved to smile, rarely cried, and was adaptable to all of her surroundings. Dallyce – your mommy and daddy rave about your bright, sparkling blue eyes, and perfect skin, and they will never be able to stop talking about your cute gummy smile that could light up the entire room. You just seemed to love absolutely everyone that came to meet you as you were so open to being touched and loved. You were definitely your mommy and daddy’s little girl. As Stephanie put it, she was easy going yet still had that princess charm because if you ignored her for longer than she felt was appropriate she would make a little fuss just to let you know. Those cute little outfits and stylish barrettes just added a sense of girly flare to all the stories she would tell just by using her precious little face.

I think if your mommy and daddy were up here they would tell you that every moment with you and your brother was their favourite. The ones that really stand out for your daddy are the times when he held you strong, and daddy-like in the cradle of his forearm, watching your beautiful face, and cherishing the fact that your were his daughter. He also loved singing and dancing with his little girl at church and looked forward to those moments every week.

Your beautiful mommy never once felt it a chore to get up with you at night, she relished in those moments, taking them all in and loving every minute of it. She was able to breastfed you for a short time, which was a gift of bonding that you gave to her, and you adored being comforted by her hand stroking your cheek and face.

This loving family took such amazing care of Dallyce. When you think about all the little things that happened or that she did that were not necessarily clear during the tougher moments you can’t help but think that perhaps she was already guiding her family in way that is not meant to be fully understood until we meet her again in heaven.

Even when asked about the meaning of her name Stephanie and Clayton replied that Dallyce was chosen because it was unique and beautiful, and it turned out that it suited her just perfectly. Her middle name, Joy, was chosen as a testament to the deep and ever present joy they have in Christ, no matter what circumstances come their way. They know just how deep that

joy runs, and with the coming days, months and years ahead we hope you will continue to understand that. Even though you will be sad and long for her at times, you won’t have to reach far to truly feel her because you allow Jesus to carry you.

She required extra special handling and Stephanie and Clayton were so good showing Caleb how to hold her, help her, and gently love and play with her. Caleb you are such a great brother! Although Caleb is still young we can all take a role in helping him remember the moments he had with his sister. Like how he would show his grandma how to move her legs just the right way – the way mommy and daddy taught him. Perhaps one of the nicest stories that they can help him remember is time that Stephanie caught Caleb around the corner laying face to face with his new little sister. Caleb asked Dallyce if she wanted to play with him. He gently took her hands and said to her, “Clap just like this Dallyce.” And the two of them gazed at each other and played sweetly together.

Her Grandma’s both enjoyed cuddling and singing with her. They both commented on how she was the most gorgeous person they have ever seen, they loved her bright blue eyes, and her little tiny face was just kissable. Her Grandpa enjoyed making silly faces at her while she would lie next to him just so he could watch her eyes sparkle and get her to show him her cute smile. You gave her the gift of grandparent love – and you adapted to what she needed….that is a tremendous gift. She chose you as her grandparents and she knew you loved her.

Her Aunties and Uncles enjoyed special moments with Dallyce from strolling in the park on a sunny day, to quiet cuddle moments on the couch, to warding off all the excited big cousins that wanted to play with her. Dallyce also chose all of you to play a special role in her life. Because of your strong family bonds she knew that your roles would be far reaching and that you would be there in love and support for her family when she couldn’t be.

The Gartner Family friends – you were each a part of Dallyce’s journey because you are a part of this families life. You provided and will continue to provide constant support, fun game times, much needed laughter, lots of wonderful meals, and many words of encouragement and prayers. It is obvious that friends are an important part of Steph and Clay’s life and we know they appreciate everything you have done for them. You only have to look as far as their blog or facebook pages to see what kind of friends they are to others. They chose to be open and transparent about Dallyce’s story, because they wanted to support the SMA cause and include all of us on their journey. For that, we thank you and can only hope that our friendship in return can be as genuine and giving as yours has been to all of us.

The most beautiful part is that Dallyce was at the centre of all of this. She brought people together, she bridged friendships, she filled people up, she brought us closer to God, she has people talking far and near, some of whom Clayton and Stephanie don’t even know. She was and will continue to be a miracle – our earthly journeys are better because of her and it is up to us to keep the forward movement that she started - going. For such a tiny tender little girl – Steph, Clay, Caleb and family you should be sooo proud - what an accomplishment!

Clayton and Stephanie like most parents wanted to create beautiful memories with their children. They knew it would be extremely important to attend all family functions, travel near and far, and face any storms along the way. Stephanie and Clayton knew that their time with Dallyce was a precious gift. So, like any family they wanted have family time together travelling both far and near. The first stop was the Lenz family gathering on the 4^th of July. As you can all imagine she stole the show with her sunny disposition. She even got to witness her big brother turn into a pirate on his 3^rd birthday on July 10^th. Dallyce then attended the annual GartNez Bocce ball classic. And in between games she even managed to lie on the kitchen table and help her mom cheat in Settlers. Then Mommy took Dallyce with her to volleyball camp in later July. Dallyce was such a friendly and easy- going baby. All of the kids ages 13-16 absolutely loved her. Dallyce was famous at Volleyball camp…everyone wanted to hold her and make her smile.

Clayton and Stephanie wanted to take a special trip with Caleb and Dallyce. And so, for 16 days at the end of July, beginning of August they went on a family trip. Although Dallyce’s health was starting to change, they knew that God was calling them to preserver once again and continue on their vacation. Stephanie and Clayton packed up their two small children and drove to British Columbia. They made many special stops on the way there and back spending time with family and great friends. One of Dallyce’s highlights from the trip was riding the Ferry from Tsawwassen to Sydney, Victoria. Dallyce loved the breeze on her face in general, but on the ferry it was constant and abundant. Dallyce even made it to the top of a mountain with her family. And thank heavens she even made it down from the mountain, because her daddy informed us that he was going quite fast and she wasn’t even buckled into her car seat….what a silly daddy! Next stop, Nesdoly Family Gathering in Leduc. Dallyce stole the show once again! In Edmonton, Dallyce swam in the hotel swimming pool with her parents and big brother. She loved being able to stretch out and be surrounded by the warm water. Mommy and Daddy’s highlight of the whole trip was walking around Victoria with their two beautiful children, cuddling Dallyce against the cool air coming off the Ocean. Time was non-existent for them and they were happy to be together. They could just walk with each other, experience God, and just simply be a family.

Dallyce got to visit Grandma Gartner’s cabin at Jackfish a couple of times during the summer as well. Mommy and daddy both smiled and laughed when they told us they made a bed for Dallyce on an old dresser built into the wall. They were so protective of her that they even opened the first drawer just in case she would take her first roll…at least she would be caught safely.

After Clayton and Stephanie celebrated their 5^th wedding anniversary on August 28^th, they decided it was time to get some family pictures done. They have been absolutely thrilled with the outcomes of these pictures. In the photos you can see two dedicated and devoted parents beaming as they gaze at their children. These pictures capture a thousand words. These pictures display smiles of love. These pictures will last a lifetime.

The fact that you had the vision and ambition to seek out a photographer at the time that you did – again speaks volumes to the linking of moments that occurred because of the grander plan that was at work. For those of you that don’t know the story, Stephanie and Clayton had taken their family to Superstore for a photo shoot – which incidentally did not go so well! Steph was looking around for a different venue and found a promotion on FB by a guy named Ted through New Image Photography. There had been a promotion on for a free shoot and so she wrote in explaining Dallyce’s situation. This kind man emailed right back to say that he would love to photograph their family – he even gave them all the photos on DVD at no charge. Although the timeliness and way this story unfolded is quite amazing – what we find even more profound is the email that he wrote after seeing her obituary in the Star Phoenix (which in a way echoes all of our sentiments) around Dallyce’s short life. He said, “After meeting Dallyce for just a short time three weeks ago when we did the family photo shoot, I can honestly say she had an impact on me that hasn’t left me since that day. That smile, those eyes, and the Love in her gaze as she looked at her loving parents will always be with me. Take care of yourselves and each other. Your angel is with you.”

Stephanie and Clayton created many wonderful life long memories with their children. They provided Dallyce with such a rich life on earth. However, life on earth for Dallyce was becoming more challenging as September moved forward. Up until Dallyce took her last breath, she fought extra hard. She had the perseverance gene just like her parents. Just after 7am on September 17th Clayton and Stephanie crawled into a bed with their sweet baby. Her mom and dad kept whispering “It’s OK honey, don’t worry about us we will be fine…go and be with Jesus”. The last 10 minutes of her life were the most beautiful time they had with her – everyone left their family alone to cuddle and breathe together as a united family, daddy and mommy gently blew on her face, and stroked her hair, and her cheeks until she took her last breath. It was beautiful, peaceful and natural – as it was when she entered the world. And Clayton and Steph wanted to make a special note that they are not angry with the way things went – because they got to spend almost 6 months with the most precious baby on earth.

We have an example to live by.

So take moments or many moments to saviour the impact that Dallyce has left for you. Speak her name often, remember her, when you feel a gentle breeze take a big breath and feel her arms wrap around you with love. Smile often, and hold each other close for a cuddle just because you need their smell close to your heart. When you squint at the bright sun you may feel her twinkling face shining back at you, and when you are near the water may you feel soothed, nourished, and satisfied just like Dallyce. Just as Clayton and Stephanie did every moment of every day they had with their daughter – remember to think of your loved ones as the most beautiful person on earth. May we all be as peaceful and content towards God’s plan for us as Dallyce was.

Dallyce Joy Gartner – thank-you for your life, and thank-you for your graceful entrance into heaven, you are loved by many; your loving family and friends will miss you. Take gentle care of her Jesus. Until we meet again…

Details...

2009-09-18T19:43:00.002-06:00

Planning a funeral sucks. But we want to allow our friends and family to celebrate DJ's life with us, so it has to be done. So, details are:

Monday night - come & go at our place all evening...you can ask us for our address if you don't already have it - not going to post it on here.

Service is Tuesday at 10:30am at Martensville Baptist Church. Light lunch to follow.

Thank you so much to everyone for all of the incredible thoughtfulness. We have no more room in our freezers, so if you have food for us, please keep it in your freezer for awhile :) We are overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends, family, & acquaintances.

Saying goodbye - Sept. 17, 2009, 7:12 am

2009-09-17T07:48:00.002-06:00

We said goodbye to our angel this morning.

She gets to be with Jesus now - with a perfect, working body. No more struggling & suffering. She is at rest. We, on the other hand, are in turmoil.

Thank you for all your support. We know that there is a huge community of believers praying for us, and many others who are crying out to God on our behalf, not even knowing who He is. Thank you. We can't do this on our own.

Hospital. My second home...

2009-09-14T23:21:00.003-06:00

I spend way too much time in this hospital. While I actually love my job and the people I work with, I don't love being on the other end. I am way too tired right now, so I'm not going to write much. I had big plans of getting through my pictures so I could blog a whole bunch, but it's been way too long a day. I figured I should at least post something, though, so I don't have to tell it over & over...

Dallyce has been regressing the last couple of weeks. More oxygen needs, more secretions, more frequent oxygen destaturations, and more inhaling of her formula (aspirating). She was actually feeding fairly well until last night. We knew that she had probably been aspirating a little bit before, but it was never feeding that really caused her to desat and go into distress...until last night. Every time we tried to feed her last night and this morning, she coughed and started turning blue. That's the short story, anyways. We were able to help her recover with suctioning and a little oxygen (which we finally have at home, since our last trip to the ER last Tuesday).

She was scheduled to come in for a swallowing assessment today, so I didn't keep pushing the feeding (it obviously wasn't going well!), and I didn't bring her in, because I knew that after her assessment, I would be able to push for her to get an NG (nasogastric tube) put in for feeding. This is a tube that goes in her nose and down to her stomach, so it takes away that risk of aspiration. Well, the assessment went about as well as everyone thought it would, and she turned blue again. Definitely no more food through her mouth - it, and her swallow, has gotten so much weaker just in the last few days that we have to abruptly keep her from eating.

She also took a long time to recover following the episode today - much longer than ever before. Her blood work didn't look great, and she was in distress for quite some time. Her heart was racing, both because she was in distress, and because she was dehydrated from not eating the last couple of days. She is getting some IV fluid for now, which has helped to stabilize her heart rate. She is looking good, and is breathing better. Her blood work looks better tonight, too.

So, we are here until tomorrow for sure, but maybe longer. We are going to get some things sorted out with her respiratory status, and the NG tube. We will also be talking about a G-tube, which is a feeding tube that goes straight into the stomach. While this is what most kids have for a more long-term feeding solution, it is a surgical procedure that she would have to intubated through, which means there is a chance we wouldn't be able to extubate her later, especially with her already decreased respiratory status.

That's it, in a nutshell. Just thought many of you would like to know. If you have any more specific questions, please feel free to ask. We are both very open to talking about SMA and her progress. Thanks again for all the prayers and support. And, as my now 2nd favorite (Ellen is my 1st now!!) American Idol judge, Simon Cowell, would say, "I don't mean to be rude, but..." we're not looking for advice, just love, support, and prayers. Thanks.

The GartNez Bocce Classic! June 20, 2009

2009-09-10T16:09:00.002-06:00

I know you have all been on the edge of your seats waiting for this post! We held our 2nd GartNez classic this year, and had 7 teams out. We were supposed to have 8 teams, but one dropped out last minute (that morning, last minute!), so we ended up doing a round robin with all teams. It ended up being A LOT of bocce, so we shortened the playoff games. We had a great day, and some good, healthy competition! This year, I made team uniforms, but of course I didn't get pictures of all of them!! Next year they will be even better, as I plan to start on them sooner than the night before!!

The teams, in final ranking order (correct me if I'm wrong...I know the first 4 are right...and really, does it even matter if you fell below that?!), were:
1. Kevin & Rachel Fehr - Fehr-ocious
2. Greg & Jadah Mensch - Gimp n Gerg
3. Clay & Steph - Step Dads
4. Joel & Crystal Boucher - Bocce Ball Busters
5. Sean & Megan Shaw - MegaSean
6. Eric & Julia Keil - Eye of the Liger
7. Brian & Sara Giesbrecht - Team HODGE

Since Greg & Jadah won last time, we sabotaged them by pulling a 'Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan' move. I don't care if you don't know who they are, or if you think I'm a loser because I do. Anyways, it didn't work very well, since they still ended up in the final and came in 2nd. For real, she had knee surgery 4 days prior to this, so played the whole day on crutches. That's commitment, people!

The final game in action - by this point we were all too tired to go back to the park, so we just played the finals in our backyard! The sad thing about this whole situation is that the top two teams had one on crutches and one pregnant!

Fehr-ocious with the trophy...I hope that's displayed in a prominent place in your home!!

A close-up of the sweet trophy

It's kind of hard to see, but this is one of the many bug bites I got that day...apparently Megan & I are the only ones they went after.

DJ at 3 months old!

2009-09-10T16:03:00.002-06:00

Now does anyone else think she looks like Uncle Andy?!

June 2009...the month our life was turned upside-down

2009-09-10T13:25:00.011-06:00

So, June was the month in which we admitted DJ to hospital to find out why she was so hypotonic. The month we were basically told that our beautiful baby girl was going to die of a horrible genetic condition. But, because God is good, we were still able to have many joy filled moments with family and friends. So, here's a look at June...

Caleb loving on his little sister. One day I watched as he climbed up on the couch beside her, and starting playing a hand-clapping game with her. He was helping her clap and pat her knees, and just laid there beside her, face to face. Unfortunately, my camera wasn't anywhere close by, so I wasn't able to get a video. He is so good with her (most of the time)...he knows that he has to 'sanitize' his hands before touching her, and that he has to be extra gentle with her. He is learning about how her suction works and loves to 'help' me suction her.

June 4, Jadah & I took the kids to the Children's Festival. Caleb wasn't so good at sitting through the first thing we had tickets for (can't remember what it was), but he had fun playing with the bubbles just outside that tent, and of course getting his face painted.

Jacee, Lauren & Caleb

He did enjoy Splash 'N Boots later (again we went with the Mensches, but Clay & Greg were there this time, too)...at one point, Boots was walking around the room talking to different kids, and I lost sight of Caleb. I caught Clay's eye (he was up in the stands, I was on the ground) and we both panicked. I ran to the tent opening, but the security people said they hadn't seen him try to leave. Then we spotted him quietly following Boots around! He wouldn't do any actions or anything, but apparently he was enthralled by her!! He tried to follow her on stage, and completely freaked out when I wouldn't let him. Later, it was like pulling teeth to get him to smaile for a picture with them!! We bought the DVD and have watched Splash N Boots many, many, many times since, and now Caleb sings along and does some of the actions!

We went out for ice cream afterwards, and Gimp n Gerg sang Happy Birthday to me just before we left.

The next day, on my birthday, I was heading up to Waskesiu because I had won the weekend through Tupperware. I took Caleb to my friend Caryn's house, so she could babysit him until Clay got home from school. When I got there, she had made a birthday cake for me! I also ended up getting a cake later that night from my fellow Tupperware ladies at Waskesiu! This one is the one Caryn made...

Dallyce...

Father's Day

Caleb playing computer (he's already a total computer nerd!!)

At Cochin with Grandma Gartner - June 27

The whole story...or most of it anyways

2009-08-30T21:26:00.002-06:00

OK, so I know that many of you are wanting an update, especially after our impromptu trip to the hospital via ambulance today. I was wanting to get the blog caught up so that my posts would be in order, and not bouncing back and forth to summer and present day, but I have a ridiculous amount o pictures to go through, so that's not going to happen. Eventually the pictures will get posted, but here's the scoop on Dallyce thus far...

As you know, we spent a little time in the hospital back in June, where Dr. Lowry, a pediatric neurologist, saw DJ and was certain that she had Spinl Muscular Atrophy Type 1. They did some bloodwork and sent it away to Ottawa to be tested for this genetic condition. On July 3, we went in to see the geneticist and genetic counselor, and were told that, indeed, she does have SMA1. They gave us the bloodwork, which confirmed that she has no copies of the SMN1 gene. Most people have 2 copies, carriers have only 1.

So, what does this mean? Well, click here for a good website, but I will give some info, too. 1 in 6000 babies are born with SMA. 1 in 40 people are carriers (this means that there is a good chance that many of you readers are carriers, so please get tested before you have children!!). There is no cure. There are 4 types, and Type 1 is the most severe form. Essentially, lower motor neurons are affected, meaning that the nerves that stimulate her muscles are degenerating. Dallyce will never hold her head up, sit on her own, roll over, crawl, or walk. More importantly, her breathing is labored, she will have difficulties swallowing (so far, so good, but we are waiting for a swallowing assessment), and she has a very difficult time clearing her airway. The stats show that most babies with SMA1 die before their 2nd birthday, although many are living longer with what I consider aggressive treatment of respiratory issues. We have an incredible pediatric respirologist (Dr. Lothian) who has been very up front with us about the fact that (barring accidents) a respiratory incident will be the terminal event of her life. Basically, a common cold could end up killing her because she just doesn't have the strength to deal with it.

In the meantime, we have also connected with many other SMA families across Canada and around the world. We had a 'chance' meeting (or a God send!) in downtown Victoria, when we were walking around on our last morning there and walked past a woman pushing a flatbed stroller. We wanted to find out how & where she had gotten that, as Dallyce could no longer ride in her infant carrier car seat, but needs to be laying flat pretty much all the time (she would start to choke and gasp every time she was in her car seat - actually stopped breathing and turned blue one night while I was out at Volleyball camp). So anyways, we wanted to know where she got the stroller, so we followed her in to the Pita Pit and asked her. Turn out her daughter also has SMA1, had just turned 3, and was one of 2 on the entire island! She is the reason we connected with so many families and started getting some info on different treatment options.

OK, so, now we are waiting for some equipment...we have a suction machine at home, which we are using once or twice most days, just to help clear the back of Dallyce's throat. We do chest physio at least once a day to help move the secretions out of her lungs and then suction when they get high enough in the airway. We got a car bed from Families of SMA in Ontario. It basically looks like a bassinet and sits across the back seat of the van, so she can lay flat in it, but is restrained. We can't see or reach her way back there, so it's not ideal, but it is better than laying on the seat with no restraints!! We are waiting for a cough assist machine (which does exactly what it sounds like!!), and a BiPAP (basically a non-invasive ventilator that helps her breathing based on pressures - helps her get air in and get the CO2 out). She will need to have a feeding tube put in, as swallowing will be become difficult and she will be a high risk for aspirating her food, leading to pneumonia, which of course is another one of those respiratory incidents that we want to postpone as long as possible. There are also many other things we will need if she gets older and gets to a point to need them (a stander, for example).

We have quite a team of medical professionals working with us, too. As I've mentioned already, there is a neurologist, respirologist, genetisict, and a pediatrician of course. There are also occupational & physical therapists, dietician, RN, Speech/Language Pathologist, counsellor, social work...I think I've gotten them all covered! We will see the whole team at clinics once a month at the Kinsmen Children's Center in Saskatoon, and as needed (for example, we have been going in weekly to see the feeding team - dietician & OT - for weights and figuring out the best food options for her, as she had lost some weight while breastfeeding. Now we are doing concentrated formula, and it seems to be working!). I think we will be having OT & PT coming to the house as well, but I need to double check on that!

I feel like I'm rambling, but I know lots of you have been wanting more info about our little angel. I hope this is enough, and not too much.

So that brings us to today, more or less. This morning Caleb woke up super early (6:15 - I know that's normal for some of you, but not for us!!) after going to bed very late last night (midnight), so we knew that church was going to be a gong show with him. Plus, I was really tired and just didn't feel like going anywhere, so Clay went to church by himself while I stayed home with the kids. DJ was sounding a little gurgly, as she often does, so I suctioned her a bit, with a little success, but wasn't able to clear whatever was there, so I sat down to do some chest physio on her to help clear it. She was clearly struggling - gasping for air, turning pale...basically looking the way she used to look in her car seat. Not good. So I put her down in the crib, trying different positions to help drain her lungs, suctioning, and I put her oxygen saturation monitor on her. Most of us are likely sitting at around 96-100% sats...DJ was at 82% and dropping. She dipped as low as 66 or 68%, and then settled around 77-83%. Whatever I did, I couldn't bring them back up, which is what was out of the ordinary. Usually if she's in any distress, I'll suction a bit and then she'll be happy again. This was taking too long, so I called Clay and got him to come home. He was home in a couple of minutes, and she was still struggling, although she was starting to make some crying sounds in between her gasps. I got him to call 9-1-1, and by the time the first responders got here, her sats were up to 88-91%. They threw some O2 on her, and she came up right away, and was happy again. Whatever it was had cleared, and the little bit of extra O2 helped her to get back up to normal and get her heart rate back to normal (she had been up around 200). Then the ambulance came and created a nice little scene in our quiet neighbourhood with their flashing lights and sirens! She was happy and back to baseline by then, but we still took her in via ambulance just to have her check out to make sure there wasn't any kind of infection brewing or anything. She was a superstar, and all of her tests were clear. We were back home in a few hours, and she is her regular self - all smiles!

Also, before we left Clay called our friend Louise to see if she could come over to stay with Caleb until my parents could get there (he had noticed that she wasn't in church this morning either), and she was so quick to come over with her little girl - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I don't think Caleb even noticed the big ambulance in our driveway...he was having too much fun playing with rocks!! Mom & Dad came as soon as they could, and had lunch/supper here for when we got home.

Oh ya, and when this all happened, I still hadn't brushed my teeth, gotten dressed, done anything with myself, so before the first responders could get there, I was speedy to do those things (don't worry, DJ was already settling, and Clay was with her)!!!

So that's what's up...thanks for all the support we've been given so far...so many meals provided, our house cleaned, free family pictures. It's ridiculous how much people have been pulling together for us. With all the stress of having to make some life & death decisions for our baby girl, not to mention just the stress of having a 3 year old terror and new baby, all of those things really have been a blessing to us. Lots of people have been wondering about financial needs. So far, there are none. We haven't had to pay for any equipment yet, and we don't know what we will have to pay for in the future. If she is still with us when the time comes for me to go back to work, I won't be, so there may be some financial stress at that time, but we can also just tighten up on our budget!

I have to add one last thing. While there have been many "WHY?" moments and wondering where God is in all of this, we still believe with all our hearts that God is in control. We don't have the answers to the why questions and don't understand why God has allowed us & Dallyce to go through this, but I want to be clear that we do not blame God. He has infinite wisdom, and has bigger plans than our own. We are still praying for a miracle, because we believe that He can heal her, but we do not blame Him, nor will we be angry with Him if He chooses not to. Again, His plan is bigger than our own. We believe that He has sent this little angel to touch people's lives and draw people to Him...and we see it in the way that people have come together so much to help us and support us. That's God at work in our lives. For those of you who don't know the Lord, I hope you are catching glimpses of Him through Dallyce and seeing His love at work in His people who are caring for us...it's not a coincidence.

Videos - Caleb singing

2009-08-21T01:16:00.007-06:00

These videos were taken on May 1, a little more than 2 months before Caleb's 3rd birthday. He went through a short phase where almost anything could be a piano, and he 'hit the keys' as he sang. Here he is using the tab dividers in my binder. It's crazy watching these now, only a few months later, and seeing how much his speaking has developed since then! So, even though these are not completley indicative of what he is doing now, I thought they were totally worth sharing! And yes, I'm into shameless product placement ;)

So, youtube is being annoying about the privacy setting of the videos, so I'm working on it. The titles below are links to the videos on youtube, but they still might not work. I have now uploaded the videos on to FB, so if you're my friend there, you can see them!

Spiderman Theme Song

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star

Catching up...MAY!!

2009-08-21T00:01:00.023-06:00

So here is a little look back at May - 2 months before Caleb's 3rd birthday. May also included DJ's 6 weeks appointment where our family doc noticed her low tone and got the ball rolling on getting us in to a pediatrician. Enjoy the pics...

We starting shaving his head

at the beginning of May because

it was always so dirty and messy!

Here's a little before and after...

One of our midwives, Jessica.

We didn't get any pics of her or Ros in the delivery room,

so I made sure to take the camera to our last appointment.

We had such a positive experience with the midwives,

so I wanted to have a picture of at least one of them!!

Snow.

On May 14.

These are pics from 7-8 weeks old...
right around the time she started smiling all the time.
If your heart doesn't melt when you see that face,
well then I don't know what to tell ya.

Caleb looking like such a big boy in his car seat.

He is becoming quite the little computer whiz -

he loves to play games and 'check his email.'

2 months old!

Caleb started out always wanting to shove Dallyce's soother in,
but quickly learned how to be gentle and not to force it on her.
What a good big brother!

Some much needed rest!

Catching up....APRIL!!

2009-08-16T15:25:00.005-06:00

I realize it's been awhile since I've been on here....life has gotten in the way of writing about life! I have lots to write about these days, but, I just can't handle the thought of not catching up first, so that the blog is in order! I know, it's very 'Monica' of me, but that's just how I am...you know you love it. So, here are a few pictures from April - seems like a long time ago now...just to give a little reference, DJ was born March 25, so she is a lot smaller in these pics than she is now!

April 4 (10 days old) - My good friend Helene was home from Calgary and there was a baby shower for her & Ava, who is about 1 month older than DJ...

Dallyce resting up for the shower

And later that day...

Another of Caleb's great sleeping positions

Caleb loved going outside in the spring when he could play in the water! He looks like a little old man with his little walking stick!

Easter egg hunt in Laird - Reed, Caleb & Drew...(Caleb is very enthusiastically saying "Cheese!")

Our small group threw us a shower for DJ. Good times. They aren't technically our small group anymore, since we haven't actually had any Bible studies since October, and we will most likely be joining a new group at our church in Martensville in the fall, but they have all become such good friends, and will forever be remembered as 'our small group.'

Caleb sleeping and eating chocolate toast...make sure you click on this one to see his face a little closer!

We dedicated Dallyce at Circle Drive Alliance Church on April 26. We don't do infant baptism, we make a declaration as parents to commit to raising our children to know God, and to give them to Him to use in whatever way would glorify Him. Now that we are actually in a position where we are required to place her in His hands, and to trust that He has a plan for her, we still stand by that commitment. Standing on the stage that day, we certainly never imagined that we would be held to it in this way.

Day 2 at the hospital

2009-06-16T10:30:00.002-06:00

Well, it is 1030 and we have spoken with a genetic counsellor and a neurologist. We are not feeling very hopeful at this point. The neurologist strongly feels that she has a "very serious muscle disease" called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Of course, we have to do some genetic testing to find out if he is right. In the meantime, we're not supposed to look it up on the internet because we'll just get scared. What do you think is the first thing we did after they left? And how long do we have to wait until we get the results from genetics? Could be months.

We have been warned by friends, however, that they were given big scary diagnoses early on for their children that ended up not being the case, so we don't want to completely rely on this possible diagnosis until we know for sure. He decided that this is what he thinks it is after about 5 minutes of looking at her, so of course it is not a true diagnosis.

Basically, right now we're feeling pretty deflated and scared, but at the same time, we still have our beautiful little Dallyce, and we have the knowledge that God loves us and her. That's the most important thing. He is holding us, and will help us through every step of this, whatever thoe steps may be. Thanks for all the prayers and support. Looks like we may be going home tonight, so that's good. I like working here, but I don't like being on the other end.

Dallyce's hospital visit - Day one

2009-06-15T18:17:00.002-06:00

Well, the day at the hospital was short-lived, thankfully! We were admitted around 12:30, the nurses did their admission assessments, and a JURSI (Sr. Medical Student) came and did a history and assessment. The JURSI then went away for a couple of hours, and we sat and waited. She came back around 4 to tell us that she had spoken with Dr. Krochak (the pediatrician), and told us the plan. Tomorrow we will see a neurologist and a geneticist, have an MRI, and a swallowing assessment. They will also be testing her hearing and I will be asking about physio as the JURSI didn't know. In the meantime, they gave us permission to bring DJ home for the night and be back there before 9 tomorrow morning, since they wouldn't be doing anything for her there tonight! So we get to have a quiet evening at home before a big day tomorrow. Caleb is still with Mom & Dad, so that's super helpful. Thanks to everyone who is behind us - please continue to pray! We will update as we can!

The DL on DJ

2009-06-03T19:13:00.002-06:00

So, I still have a ton of pictures from April & May to sort through and get on here, but I figured I should write a little update to let everyone know what exactly has been happening with Dallyce. Some of you know everything, some know a little, and others don't know anything yet...hopefully this will get everyone onthe same page without me having to type it out and explain many times over!!

Dallyce is a super content baby, so we never really thought anything of how chilled out she was until my doctor pointed it out at her 6 week checkup. After that, we really noticed that she was quite hypotonic...essentially, she's a floppy baby. She has next to no reflexes, and all that she really moves is her left arm a little bit. The midwife went back to her notes from the delivery and said that she had great tone when she was born, so it's something that happened after birth sometime.

Today, after a 4 week wait, we saw a pediatrician who doesn't really have any answers. She said she doesn't really know what to think because Dallyce seems so healthy otherwise. So, she has ordered some bloodwork (CBC, TSH, CK, & chromosomes for those of you who know what those are), and has ordered an ultrasound of her head to see if there is any extra fluid on her brain. She also said that she will probably do an elective admission of Dallyce in the next week or two so that she can get a CT Scan or MRI done, as well as see a neurologist & maybe a geneticist. If we try to do these as an outpatient, it could be a long wait, but if she is an inpatient, she'll get this all done quickly. She is also setting up a referral to the Kinsmen Children's Center for physio.

So basically, we are hoping to get some answers in the next few weeks, and we would really appreciate your prayers as we wait and then as we deal with whatever comes our way. In the meantime, we get to keep enjoying our beautiful little girl and her wonderful smiles.

Dallyce's first days

2009-05-31T21:14:00.004-06:00

OK, so I know my blogging updates have been few and far between, so I thought I should at least start to get some pictures up, even if I don't really have any stories to go with them!! I will hopefully be caught up soon, but there are sooooo many pictures!!!

2 days old

Caleb loving the snow and melting snow - a few minutes of playtime alone with Daddy after his little sister came around and started getting everyone's attention!

4 days old

5 days old

DJ's first full day

2009-05-18T20:03:00.007-06:00

The next morning, Jadah and her girls came over with breakfast and coffee...it was awesome! How nice to not have to think about finding food for ourselves after a long sleepless night (Dallyce wanted to nurse all night!).

The proud big brother...pretty pumped to have all the grandparents over at one time! Everyone came for the day...I got to sleep lots because they were entertaining Caleb and holding Dallyce. Caleb had stayed with my parents while we were at the hospital and for the night, then they took him to Laird again on the weekend.

DJ's first bath...

What an awesome daddy and husband!

Announcing....even though it is a little late....

2009-05-18T19:42:00.004-06:00

DALLYCE JOY GARTNER!!! Our beautiful baby girl was born at 2107 (that's 9:07 pm for those of you who don't like the 24 hr clock!!) on March 25! 8 lbs, 21.5 inches.

I'm not going to tell the whole story here, but the brief version is this.... times are approximates!

1430 - membranes stripped by midwife

1700 - drink verbena 'cocktail'

1845 - water breaks, contractions start hard and fast

1955 - leave house for hospital, trying not to push while in the van

2005 - getting admitted in the ER, still trying not to push as receptionist trying to make me hurry up to get out of her way

2015 - get to room and into bed...start pushing immediately

2107 - Dallyce is born with me on my knees facing backwards...I definitely recommend this position to all moms delivering!!!

2300 - Dallyce's first visitor - Auntie Melissa comes up to L&D when she is finished her shift

2355 - discharged

2400 - visit with my coworkers on 6200 and show off the new babe

0030 - hit up Shopper's Drug Mart for the things I forgot to pick up before

0050 - McD's drive-thru - I was hungry!!!

0130 - at home in our own bed!!

Tired much?

2009-03-16T15:31:00.002-06:00

Just came downstairs to check on Caleb at the computer and this is what I found...

Singin with Spidey

2009-03-13T14:21:00.005-06:00

I tried to catch Caleb singing with his toy Spiderman without him noticing, but clearly did not have success...I'm surprised he still went back and sang! For some reason when he sings he doesn't say the words clearly - I think he's trying so hard to keep up that he just mushes all the words together! I love it when he sings. The itsy bitsy spider is one of his favourites, as well as Jesus Loves the Little Children and Zaccheus (especially when he gets to say "kee-us, you come down!").

Baby's room

2009-03-13T14:06:00.002-06:00

This is mostly for Bonnie, who really wants to see what colour we painted...it's called New Sea, and I think it's a little more green than the pictures show. But it is very blue-green. Since we don't know the gender, I wanted to do a colour that I could decorate either way. I think it may be easier to make girly, but I should be able to man it up a bit, too, if it's a boy! That's why there are no decorations or anything on the walls yet...that will have to wait until baby is here! I am doing another name painting like I did for Caleb, but, again, can't be done until after the arrival. I also realize that none of the furniture in the room matches, but we really don't care. We are reusing the crib and chair, and the change table was the one new purchase (from IKEA) that we made for this child. The extended part of the change table comes off later, so it becomes just a dresser. Anyways, I realize it is not nearly as nice as what your nursery will look like, Bon, but I like it. I can't wait to see yours...and your whole house in real life for that matter!!

Skidooing with Grandpa Guido

2009-03-13T12:59:00.001-06:00

Since the video seems to have worked in the Feb post, I'm attempting this video again...it's old (from Christmas), but still cute!

Feb 2009...and Mar thus far

2009-03-13T11:41:00.006-06:00

Feb started out with me getting to go see So You Think You Can Dance top 10 tour!! I love the show, even though I know absolutely nothing about dancing, and it was a really great show to see in person! We sat 5th row from the stage, so we could see everything really well...it was awesome!

Clay's winter break coincided with my week off, so we used the opportunity to head to Calgary for a few days. We stayed with good friends Dr. Dennis & Kristina (they moved to Calgary in the fall so Dennis could attend the College of Vet Med at U of C...if that's what the college is called). We spent time playing Settlers, playing Rock Band, going to IKEA, and we tried to meet our good friends Juan & Helene's new baby, but she was too stubborn and was born the day after we left!! We did get to have a quick coffee with them, though, and it's always nice to see them! We are looking forward to meeting little Ava when they come to SK in April. I also got to visit with a friend from my VTI team, JoDee, who's baby Capri was only a few weeks old at the time! It was nice to catch up with her too!!
Kristina and I - which one is further along?! I'm about 35 weeks here, due Mar 26, and Kristina is due end of May I think...she's got some catching up to do!

Here I am 37 weeks...notice the picture behind me that we picked up at IKEA...just need to get it hung in the right spot now!

Just a good one of the boys

Caleb loves to say "Arr Matey"...and it's dang funny when he does, so when Clay found this Pirate hat at Dollarama (or 'dollaGramma' as Caleb calls it!), we had to get it. He's a fan.

The day before we were supposed to get some family pics done, Caleb nailed his head and got a big scratch and bump on the middle of his forehead. He really didn't need the bandaid, but he wouldn't let us leave it off for a good week...so he looked stylin' with his big Mickey and Spiderman bandaids on his forehead for a few days!

A few more sleeping positions...standing, tiptoes, kitchen chair. If the video actually works, you'll see how he ended up on the kitchen chair - was falling asleep while eating, then eventually just gave up and curled up right there! It was awesome!

This winter has been so cold that there have been very few outside days...even so cold that getting out for a couple minutes of fresh air wasn't even feasible most days. So when we had a couple of nice days last week, Clay took Caleb out in the front yard for some play time...nice snowman.

Jan 2009

2009-02-06T21:18:00.003-06:00

We obviously haven't been taking too many pictures lately. The only time we ever really think about it is when Caleb is settled down, and the only time he's really settled down is when he's sleeping, and he's so dang cute when he's sleeping that we just have to take pictures! Hence 2 sleeping pictures to cover the month of January.
Kind of wierd, since January has been his worst sleeping month to date.

Dec/Jan pregger pics!

2009-02-06T20:59:00.003-06:00

My dear friend Helene and her hubby Juan were home at Christmas and we were able to have a coffee (well, tea) on New Year's day. Of course, I was still so tired from working, not sleeping, and working overtime that I wasn't great company! Oh well, still very nice to see them!! Helene is due on Feb. 17, about 5 weeks ahead of me (I was 29 weeks here), and as you can see, I am much bigger than her!! Well, obviously I'm much bigger than her to begin with, but my belly is so huge compared to hers!!! Clay says it looks like I ate Helene!!! Anyways, she looks so cute, and we are so excited to see them and hopefully the new baby when we are in Calgary during Clay's break Feb. 17-21!

I had to put this pic of my veins on here to show you....many people have seen them in real life, and I'm sure they can attest that they look worse in real life!! But, I had to do it because other pregnant people think it's not fair when I say I have never been sick in pregnancy. Well, you throw up, I have nasty, nasty legs with huge swollen veins that will require surgery. Keep in mind also that these pics were taken after having my feet up for hours and just having had a bath where I had the jets going on the legs to get the circulation going, so the veins were not nearly as swollen as they usually are, especially down by my ankle. That one is seriously gross.

32 Weeks

New Year's 2008

2009-02-06T20:38:00.005-06:00

We had a few friends over for New Year's and played some Rock Band. Basically we all suck big time. But we had fun. And I barely made it to midnight because I had worked all day, and then I worked 4 hours of overtime the next morning. Man I'm cool.